I am not the kind of person
To ask someone to stay.
I’m not the kind of person to say out loud “I do not want to be alone right now.” I would never force my company on another person like that. And I further have a weird sociopath thing where I want people to want my company so I will actually full on resist asking someone to be here unless they offer.
And since everyone was off living their lives today while I stress cleaned and moved everything in my room, no one was here to offer anyway. And I didn’t ask anyone to stay or come over and be here with me to keep me from just fucking running with it and cycling to the point that I’m currently at.
So, realistically, I have no one to blame but myself.