Things I was gonna do this week:

• book a flight back to Canada for my birthday and head of the Trent
• hang out with my new roommates more
• makes friends
• get to bed at a reasonable hour
• see my dad while he was in Boston again
• see A for dinner at least twice

Instead!

• I was told that no one in my family would be willing to pick me up and talked out of going home by my dad
• came home to an empty house every day
• stayed at home in my room mostly
• was up till ungodly hours every night for no real reason other than I couldn’t sleep
• was told by my dad that he was “in no mood” to see me
• got ditched by A until tonight when he says he’ll be picking me up at 10. I’ll believe it when I see it

I am overwhelmed.

In other news: I feel like I am steps away from making a really bad stupid decision. And that really bad stupid decision is already running directly at me trying to convince me how not really bad stupid it would be. I’m starting to believe it.

Since moving

I’ve been the laziest person on this planet. Having no work and no friends here has created a monster in me. I’ve learned that I’m the kind of person who needs objectives, or a to-do list or something to keep me occupied. I like to be alone, but I like to have things to do while alone. And after I unpacked all my stuff, I was hit with the complete lack of anything that I had to do. For the first time since I was five years old I had no job, no school, no friend or family that I had to see, and it was overwhelming to me.

My life is absolutely perfect right now, I have everything I wanted and stuff I didn’t realize I wanted. I have a job, a beautiful house, a wonderful guy who I’m really starting to fall for. I just miss having the ladies in my life that I could be with and do nothing with. I miss Kendal’s company and sitting with her watching mantracker or stupid crap on TV and just being. I miss Sarah’s presence in my life, and seeing her giant starbucks cup on my living room table. I miss The Roomie cracking my back and being around to exist with. I miss the people I could hop on a bus and go see whenever.

And I know that by next week, things will be different. I’ll be training and tired and not so lonely. But yesterday was really really long and I was hit with how monumentally alone I am here. When J is at work or with his son, I have no one at this point to just be with.

I just needed a place to complain for a second, because I know by next week I’ll be wondering who this whiny bitch was.

Just had to get it all out somewhere.

Update on my life.

So.

Things are still moving right along. I think I’m getting a townhouse with two other girls in Quincy right on the shore. I can see Boston from the balcony, and am in love with the place. So hopefully all our credit checks go through and then I can figure that shit out.

The guy (henceforth J the Paramedic) is becoming a staple. I think mainly because he’s amazingly fun to be around, and I just like being with him, and partly because he’s the only person I really am friends with in this country. The only drawback to this is that everytime we hang out I keep getting a little more involved. And he recently revealed that he has a son, so that’s something I’m going to have to contend with at some point eventually. But he’s going to take me to see the dinosaurs in the BMoS, and has already been amazing about touring me around the state and showing me all cool things.

My job is the shittiest must mundane, unimportant work I have ever done in my life. I hate everything about the actual work itself, but it’s a paycheck. And I love my coworkers and the environment and everything about my job except the actual job. So that’s a bit of a tradeoff. I already have some work friend and in typical L fashion, have numerous inside jokes around the office already.

So basically, the three major things every girl seems to want in life (a house, a job, a guy) have fallen into my lap in a matter of weeks. It still hits me every night as I lay in bed that this somehow worked out. I moved down here with literally $4 to my name, a degree from a very small university no one has ever heard of, and no real plans. In the span of 19 days, my life has magically worked out. I keep getting told from everyone that it’s karma paying me back for the last 22 years. But really, I think I am just the luckiest person to ever live.

Fingers crossed that it keeps working out.